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Babarakan Muratbekova, who is Kyrgyz, was born in 1936 in the village of Karakol in Kyrgyzstan’s Talas oblast [province]. She was bride-kidnapped when she was 17. She worked as a librarian. “The role of women has always been to take care of the household, starting with bearing the children and ending with growing potatoes,” she said. Dilbar Ruzadorova interviewed her in the village of Chat Bazaar, in Talas oblast [province] on March 15, 2009.

I was born in small village called Karakol, in Talas oblast [province]. People in Karakol could only grow potatoes back then, because of the cold climate. We had no bazaars so every household had to grow something in order to live.

I was only 5 years old, when the war started. I didn’t understand much of what was going on. I only remember how my mother grieved when she sent her sons – my brothers – to war. My family was very big. I had 13 siblings, seven of whom, unfortunately, I do not remember at all. The remaining seven included four brothers, one older sister, and me.

Many men were forced to leave their homes and fight in the war. This problem touched my family as well. All four of my brothers went to the war. The oldest left us when he was 19. I remember that he had moved to Bishkek to study, but, due to the war, he had to leave all that behind.

He fought in Ukraine. He used to write us letters about his victories and defeats. I still remember the excitement and the tears of happiness in my mother’s eyes each time she got a letter from him. His last letter was about a battle on the Don. After that, we heard no other news from him.

My second brother was sent to the war when he was 17. When he left us, he left us forever. We never heard anything from him again. My third brother was sent first to flight school and then to the war. We received letters from him, but not for long. After all these losses, sorrow and sadness settled on our family, but our parents tried not to show their pain to us.

My fourth brother fought for two years and was wounded and sent home. When he arrived, my parents’ joy and delight was immeasurable. However, after a while, when my brother got well, they [the army] called him back. My brother and 14 other people ran away to the mountains to avoid the war. After several days, they were caught and sent to Komsomolsk-on-Amur [in the Russian Far East], for 10 years. After 10 years, my brother came home healthy and started a family. He was the only one of my brothers who came back from the war.

After the war, we started to search for information about my brothers. We looked through the archives of the voenkomat [the military commissariat] and found out that my oldest brother was buried in Ukraine. Apparently, he had gotten married there and had a son. Later, his son tried to find us, but for some reason, my father didn’t want to meet him. We also learned that my second brother had died in a train crash on his way to the war and the third one was killed in the war. Thus, I lost three of my brothers and my parents lost three of their sons.

After the war, when Stalin died, I remember that everybody was in great pain. People of all ages and genders in my village – I was living in Chat Bazar then – cried for several days. I remember I also cried, but I didn’t really understand why I was crying. I just cried because everyone else was crying.

I studied in the school in Karakol until the tenth grade – back then, that was the highest grade. Classes started at 8 a.m., but we woke up a lot earlier, because we had a bunch of other things to do around the house. I liked school a lot and always prepared for my classes. We learned how to read, write, and count. Without such skills you can’t make your way in this world. We studied math, literature, Kyrgyz language, and other subjects. My favorite was literature. I don’t remember having any kinds of extracurricular activities. Moreover, back then we had no extra time for such activities.

We played different games, though. Back then we were not allowed to play with the boys or even to hang around with them. One of the games was called ak-chulmuk; in it, we threw bones and then looked for them. I also liked cooking and sewing. TV didn’t arrive in our village until 1964.

Unfortunately, after graduating from school, I wasn’t able to continue my education. There were several reasons and one of them was the fact that my parents were already middle-aged and I had to take care of them. There were other reasons, but my parents were the most significant.

In 1954, when I was 19, I got married to a man who stole me from my parents. I was stolen by Sovet Muratbekov and, after a while, we got married. He was three years older than me. My husband had studied in a medical school in Bishkek, but didn’t graduate because of a very odd incident. During one procedure, some blood had splattered on his legs and he got sick. He was so ill that his parents decided to bring him home so they could take care of him. For a long time, he couldn’t walk and it was only after massaging his legs with jir barsuka [badger/raccoon fat] that he managed to return to normal life. After that, he didn’t continue his medical studies. Instead, he transferred to the biology department. We got married when he came back from Bishkek. Then he worked as a biology teacher in the local high school.

The role of women has always been to take care of the household, starting with bearing the children and ending with growing potatoes. If, back then, women were only involved in household activities, now they work for government and other organizations. Women have much more freedom now. They can go to mosques if they want to and no one will think it is strange. In our times, girls were not considered smart enough to go to school, but now, I’m glad to say, the situation has changed.

Men have been always been thought of as the breadwinners of the family. If, today, men work in offices and earn money, in the past, their jobs were much more physically difficult. They had to herd animals, work in the fields, and do the heavy work at home. The main thing that makes a strong and healthy family is mutual understanding and support between the husband and the wife. Also, for a perfect family, your kids should be well-educated.

I have three children: one son, Manasbek; and two daughters, Chinara and Mayramkan. All of them have their own families now. My son lives in Bishkek, my older daughter lives in Aral, and my younger daughter lives with me.

My family had a big farm in Karakol and we grew only potatoes. But, in Chat-Bazar we can grow tomatoes, onions, potatoes and other kinds of vegetables. Over the years, agricultural technology changed a lot and it became much easier to keep animals and to grow everything. Of course, with better technology, people started to grow more crops and, surely, machines like combines made the work easier.

I truly supported collectivization, because, under collectivization, everything was distributed fairly. We all worked on the collective farms and received equal rewards. Moreover, the government helped us even with our domestic affairs. Privatization ruined everything. People started to buy and sell their lands, animals, and houses. It was profitable for those in power. They were powerful enough to take land away from those who weren’t as powerful. Many people lost everything. The sense of equality diminished and the attitude became “the strongest first.”

We still grow our own food, just like all our neighbors. Chat Bazar is much warmer than Karakol, so we can grow almost everything here, from tomatoes, potatoes, cucumbers, and onions, to apples, cherries and more. But the most widely grown crop is potatoes. We eat them ourselves and we sell them for money to buy other things.

My favorite food has always been beshbarmak, which is our national food and is eaten by all Kyrgyz. I’m not very picky about my food, though. Whatever my daughter cooks for the whole family, I eat. I prefer to eat Kyrgyz food, though. And I don’t drink alcohol. I have never had alcohol in my life. Our [Kyrgyz] food has not changed in my life time. We still cook beshbarmak the same way we used to. I must say that when I was younger I could eat more than I do now – that’s because of my health and age, of course.

When we were young, we had no restaurants in our village. Everybody ate at home. The food was mainly made from potatoes, meat, and bread. Back then we needed “strong” food, because we worked a lot. In my old age, I have been to restaurants several times. I must say they have all kinds of food, which I have never seen before, much less eaten. But I still prefer my own beshbarmak at home. My granddaughter told me that now, in restaurants, you can find Chinese, Korean, Indian, and European food. In the past, we had only traditional meals in cafeterias and restaurants.

My religion is Islam. I’m a Sunni Muslim. My whole family is Muslim. There were no religious schools in Talas in the past and none of my family members ever attended a religious school. My parents fasted [on Ramadan], I remember. But I have only a very cloudy memory of me fasting. I haven’t fasted in recent years, that’s for sure.

We are much freer to practice our religion now than we were during the Soviet times. My parents used to pray before the Soviet Union, but then they stopped. Before the Soviet times, we had mosques, but no churches. My family never faced any difficulties because of our religion, but I know that in many cases the Soviets jailed people who prayed or took part in any kind of religious activity. I heard a story about one moldo [mullah], who was put in jail and wasn’t even allowed to wash his face the way every Muslim does before praying and they tried to keep him from praying. However, people say his faith was so strong that every time when the time for praying arrived, the doors opened by themselves. Moreover, when one of the guards tried to stop him, he got sick and eventually died.

I started praying in my late 60s. Now my health doesn’t allow me to pray. But, usually, men pray in the mosque and women pray in their houses. It was the same when I was younger. Women had to cover their heads and wore long skirts while praying, both at home and in mosques.

My first language was Kyrgyz, my parents speak Kyrgyz, and I don’t know any other languages. I just speak a little bit of broken Russian. I have always spoken Kyrgyz at home and at work and everywhere else. In the village, Kyrgyz is considered the most prestigious language, because everybody knows it. I haven’t been to the city for a long time. Therefore, I don’t know about the situation there, but I suppose Russian is the most widely used language there.

I have never lived in the city. In the villages, people are more hardworking and are more likely to be willing to work if you ask them – that’s something that cannot be said about the people in the cities. Also, children in the villages are healthier than children in the city. If I had to move to the city, I would take my animals and my handcrafts and other supplies, so I could continue my work. But I would rather stay in the village than move to the city.

My son works in the city and sends me money sometimes. Since my husband left us in 1997, my children have supported me. These days I get my pleasure from spending time with my grandchildren. I appreciate every moment of that time and will remember it forever. My grandchildren mean a lot to me.